A Managers’ Meeting
It was a damp and dismal day at a Chicago managers’ meeting, and several mid-to-lower-level managers, all employed at a nameless top global corporation, gathered for lunch.
After some cheerful schmoozing, and a vegan meal that everyone went out of their way to praise, the managers settled into an interesting conversation.
Shawnelle, a new purchasing manager, said, “Is anyone else having trouble getting their staff to stay focused with the new telework schedules? My people have gotten so complacent!”
Raul, an IT manager, replied, “What’s the matter? Did someone move their cheese?”
Why do people brown nose? The smell must get them high.
The other managers laughed and nodded knowingly. Shawnelle blinked her eyes in confusion.
Prisha from HR, a rising star within the company, explained, “It’s important to keep changing the regime to keep the staff focused. It’s a running joke around here that whenever a workerbee complains about changes to their routine, we chide them by saying, ‘Aw, did someone move your cheese?’ You know, from Who Moved My Cheese?”
Shawnelle said, “I’ve heard of that book, but never read it.”
Kemal, a manager in sales, explained, “It’s a famous motivational story about two mice and two tiny people who live in a maze and have to search for cheese. The search for cheese is a metaphor for the search for success. When the cheese disappears, the two mice accept the loss, and they look for new cheese right away. But the little people had gotten too comfortable, and they wanted to keep getting cheese the old way. The story motivates people to accept change and adapt to it for success. You should read it and have your staff read it to help them stay motivated.”
“And then never let them forget it!” Raul quipped, and everyone laughed and laughed.
Who Moved My Cheese? Making everyday workers suffer senseless changes for more than twenty years.
David, from marketing, frowned, “I have one employee, Big Al, who resists every change that comes along. To make matters worse, he spreads his bad attitude to everyone else!”
Prisha nodded knowingly. “I used to try and ignore people like Big Al, but then I read a funny little story that changed everything.”
“Was it ‘Who Moved My Cheese’?” Raul asked.
“Close, but no. It’s called ‘Who Moved My Time?’ Has anyone here ever heard of it?”
Everyone laughed and shook their heads. “I think I like it already!” boomed Destiny from accounting with an exaggerated wink of zer eye. “Would you tell us the story? Maybe we can learn a new lesson!”
So Prisha settled back in her chair and started the tale:
The Story of Who Moved My Time?
Chapter 1: The Maze – Strategic Motivation for Functional and Accountable Teams
Jogging suits and running shoes: the perfect Cheese Patrol uniform!
In the land of the Cheese Maze lived two little people named Hem and Haw. They spent all their time and energy searching for Cheese. Nothing made them happier than finding New Cheese. And so long as they found plenty of Cheese, these two little people lived without complaint.
Hem and Haw wore tiny jogging suits and running shoes most of the time, and they were always on the lookout for New Cheese even when they had found a large supply.
Hem and Haw had learned the hard way to never take Cheese for granted, and to always stay on the look-out for new sources of Cheese. Once there was a time when they had gone hungry waiting for New Cheese to arrive that never came. Hem had even nearly starved to death while he had stubbornly waited for Cheese. Both Hem and Haw had struggled to learn the lesson that, to make sure they always had a supply of Cheese in the Maze, they must always keep searching and searching.
The search for New Cheese was Hem and Haw’s mission and meaning in life.
For a long time, Hem and Haw had lived alongside two mice named Sniff and Scurry.
They might look cute, though Millie shrieks at the sight of them, but they leave droppings wherever they go and they gnaw on everything. Awful little buggers, mice. I’d kick them, too, if I was a little man.
The mice never complained about life’s situations, and they rarely fought with each other, and they almost always showed good cheer.
For mice, the rodents showed remarkable intelligence. They could not speak, but could laugh and answer non-verbal questions, and they worked together very well to find their Cheese. Each of the mice wore running shoes around their necks when they had Cheese to eat.
When Cheese ran out in one place, the mice cheerfully put on their running shoes and hunted in other places for New Cheese without fuss.
Over time, many other mice came to live with Hem and Haw in the Maze. These included Squeak, Sneak, Gnaw, Groom, Chew, Mate, Breed, Hoard, and Droppings.
And new litters of mice were born every week.
Compared to the mice, the two little people used their minds to plan and hunt for New Cheese, while the mice were content to react on instinct to the presence or absence of Cheese. So far Hem and Haw always had enough Cheese because they could stay a few steps ahead of the ever-growing numbers of mice. They kept a regular inventory of the remaining Cheese at each Cheese Station, and they had figured out every Cheese Station where the Cheese would appear, and roughly when.
But for the past several months, Hem and Haw found less and less Cheese no matter how hard they looked. Supplies of Cheese were shrinking everywhere. Wherever they traveled in the Maze, they found mice eating the Cheese.
Chapter 2: Diversity, Inclusion, and Equality: Transformation in Today’s Global Maze
I forgot to mention: What’s worse than two mice? A whole brood of them! An infestation of mice will ruin your day! Just ask what’s left of my collection of Schlager and polka records!
“The mice are eating all the Cheese in the Maze, Haw!” Hem complained. “What are we going to do when there are so many mice that we can no longer find enough Cheese?”
Haw shrugged, “We’ll just have to use our brains to look a little harder. Remember my signs!” Haw pointed at the wall where he had written the slogans that had served both of them so well over the years. His finger pointed at “Get Ready For The Cheese To Move,” then “Enjoy Change!” and then “Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again & Again!”
But as the days and weeks passed, Hem and Haw had a harder and harder time finding enough Cheese.
“There are too many of these mice, Haw!” Hem shouted. “They are everywhere and they eat all the Cheese before we can get to it. We have to try something new!”
“Like what, Hem? I would love to try new ideas.”
“We must keep the mice out of our Cheese! We must fight to keep our Cheese safe!”
Haw scratched his chin. Fight? The word was a strange one, and the concept was hard for Haw to understand. The Maze had always been large enough that nobody ever had to fight for anything. The word fight usually meant a verbal argument, though sometimes it could mean pushing or hitting. But Hem and Haw had never fought anyone for anything before.
“I don’t like that idea, Hem. It just doesn’t seem right. The mice have just as much right to the Cheese as we do.”
To a cheese-obsessed maze dweller, the saddest sight to see. Nothing but cheese crumbs to tease them. It could drive a little person crazy!
“If we don’t protect our Cheese, then we will have no Cheese at all!”
More weeks passed, and Hem and Haw were getting very thin. Nothing they had tried was working any more. They were practically tripping over mice everywhere they went.
Finally, Hem and Haw spotted a small piece of Cheese on top of a box. A mouse was trying to grab the Cheese with its mouth.
“No!” shouted Hem. He ran to the mouse and kicked its stomach. It scurried away. Other mice tried to sniff this last piece of Cheese, but Hem kicked his feet and swung his fists until all the mice had fled.
“See, Haw, this is how we must eat!” And Hem split the piece of Cheese in half and shared it with Haw. For the first time in days, the two little people had eaten Cheese.
And for the first time ever in his life, it was Hem who wrote a message on the wall. Haw had always prided himself on writing brilliant and inspiring messages on the wall, but now Hem had something to say.
Haw watched in curiosity while Hem scrawled the words: “Violence Can Solve Any Problem!”
Posting little walls of witticisms over clouded backgrounds. Might as well be on Facebook, huh?
Chapter 3: Microstrategies for Confronting Maze Challenges While Saving Time and Energy
That night, Hem and Haw were shocked in the darkness at the sound of a strange voice. Every now and then they had met other little people in passing, and they had always exchanged cordial greetings and then moved on. This was the first time one of these others had awakened them in the night, and it came as a great surprise.
The voice said, “Hem and Haw! Wake up!”
Hem and Haw jumped to their feet in surprise and confusion.
“I am one of the caretakers of the Maze. My name is Mammer. I come because a terrible crime was committed today, Hem and Haw. Intolerant acts of violence were committed against the mice. Violence is forbidden in the Maze, and violence can solve nothing. It merely creates a hostile Cheese-hunting environment for everyone. To maintain an inclusive work environment for all who live in the Maze, violence cannot be tolerated!”
And with that, this new man scribbled out Hem’s message on the wall with a marker.
Irritated, Hem spoke up: “I’ll tell you about hostile Cheese-hunting environments! There are too many mice and there is too little Cheese! Haw and I are going hungry!”
Mammer shook his head in sad exasperation. “Have you learned nothing about this Maze, Hem?” Mammer then quoted: “‘The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese.’”
“Not if the mice enjoy all of the New Cheese before we can get to it! If we can’t fight for our Cheese, we need some other kind of advantage over all these mice!”
Maze caretakers: like a janitor and a human resources weenie all rolled into one!
Mammer nodded. “That is partly why I have come. I bring each of you one of these.” He held up two bracelets with a white face on them and moving pointers. “These are called ‘watches.’ If you can figure out what the active Cheese Stations are, you can catch the Cheese when it first appears by using your watch. At night, you can push this button to make this watch face glow in the dark. When the little hand points to two and the big hand points to twelve, the Cheese will drop out of the ceiling of the Maze. The mice have no concept of time, so you will have the advantage.”
Mammer showed Hem and Haw how to wear their watches and how to use them at the times when they jogged for Cheese, and then he bid them good luck and farewell and wandered into the darkness of the Maze.
The following night at nearly two o’clock, Hem and Haw ventured to Cheese Station Pi (Π), where they knew Cheese should appear, and they waited. Sure enough, when their watches showed two o’clock, tiny doors opened in the ceiling and quantities of Cheese tumbled to the ground. Hem and Haw leaped in the air for joy!
After they had filled their bellies, Haw was filled with inspiration and, like so many times before, he scrawled a new message on the wall:
“When All Seems Lost, Appeal To Authorities To Give You The Advantage!”
Chapter 4: Cheese Saving Time: Maximizing Time, Tools, and Talent for Core Value Alignment in a Hyper-Competitive Maze
Don’t forget to fall back into line and mind your cheese, maze dweller!
For weeks and weeks Hem and Haw once again grew fat with Cheese. They always had first dibs at the New Cheese, and they left plenty of Cheese for the swelling numbers of mice to eat.
Then one night, when Hem and Haw had arrived at Cheese Station Schwa (ə) just before two o’clock, they gaped in horror at the sight of dozens of mice gorging themselves on the last of the Cheese!
Had their watches gone wrong?
They stared at the watch hands. A minute past two. What in the Maze was going on?
“What do we do now?” Hem exclaimed. “The watches are no longer working!”
Haw thought and thought, using his large little people brain. “We have been getting lazy, Hem! We depend on our watches too much. We just need to run through the Maze and look for more Cheese!”
Hem glared at all the sniffing white happy mouse faces as far as he could see. “The mice are everywhere, Haw. The old ways won’t work.”
“Maybe the Cheese will come at the right time tomorrow.”
Time to teach these cheese-stealing mice a lesson about the food chain! But they never let Tom win against Jerry! The propaganda of disempowerment.
So the next night, Hem and Haw visited Cheese Station Șe (Ș) just before two o’clock. And to their dismay, mice were eating the last of the Cheese again.
“Well, these watches are useless now!” Hem shouted. Then he dove into the sniffing bodies of mice, wrenching Cheese from their paws and even out of their jaws. He then kicked and struck at the mice to drive them away. In confusion and fear, the mice began to flee.
Haw watched in horror. “Hem! Remember what Mammer told us! Violence is forbidden in the Maze! You’re creating a hostile Cheese-hunting experience!”
Hem lay on the floor of the Maze, sweeping crumbs of Cheese with his outspread arms.
“To get our Cheese, this is what we have to do from now on,” Hem said. And he shared his crumbs with his friend.
Then Hem wrote his second message ever on the wall:
“When Authorities Fail, Violence Can Help You Survive!”
That night, Hem and Haw were harshly awakened once again by the angry voice of Mammer:
“Hem and Haw, we have reports that acts of violence have once again occurred against the mice of this Maze! Acts of violence will not be tolerated. If any further acts of violence are committed, we will have no choice but to consider more serious lessons for you! Now you must both sign these papers saying that you acknowledge this formal verbal counseling.”
Signing your speeding ticket or workplace discipline form is a humiliating act of submission. That’s why they make you do it!
While Haw soberly signed his name to the sheet, Hem stared at the outstretched paper in contempt. He made no move to take the extended pen. “We told you we would starve because so many mice now live in this Maze that we little people cannot eat, and you gave us watches that told us when the Cheese would appear. Now these watches no longer work like you said. How can you expect us to starve when your watches no longer work?”
Mammer shook his head in impatient contempt. “Didn’t you set your watches back for Cheese Saving Time?”
Hem and Haw stared blankly at Mammer.
“You know,” Mammer chided. “Spring Forward, Fall Back?”
Hem and Haw shook their heads.
Mammer sighed and rolled his eyes. “Okay, you two failed to set your watches back an hour for Cheese Saving Time, which is why you have showed up one hour late for the Cheese.”
Haw nodded, though still not sure. Hem frowned. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
Mammer smiled at Hem. “Always remember the saying that Haw came up with: ‘Adapt To Change Quickly.’”
Haw smiled and nodded at the recognition of his work. Hem shook his head in irritation.
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner Eating his DST cheese. He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a crumb and said “Look what a good boy I Eeez!”
“Just remember, Hem,” Mammer said. “This is your last verbal counseling. And don’t forget to sign this acknowledgment.”
While Hem bitterly signed the acknowledgement for his verbal counseling, Mammer scribbled out Hem’s wall message about authorities and violence. Then Mammer once again disappeared into the darkness of the Maze.
And Hem and Haw set their watches back one hour.
The following night, the Cheese appeared in Cheese Station R at precisely two o’clock just as before, and once again Hem and Haw grew fat and happy while the mouse population continued to grow and grow.
Haw even wrote a new saying on the wall:
“When You Can’t Find The Cheese, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help.”
Chapter 5: Building Adaptive Agility in a Changing Maze Environment
The two little people were eating their fill of Cheese once again. But Hem was less content than before. He had begun to question his life in the Maze. The need to set watches made no sense to him. And the mice were scurrying everywhere and getting in their way. Even the Cheese started to give Hem less pleasure. Was hunting and eating Cheese the only purpose of his life? Was there any truth greater than just Cheese?
Whenever Hem started to express to Haw any doubts in the Maze itself, Haw either shrugged them off with one of his upbeat sayings about change, or he didn’t understand at all. So Hem stopped talking about it, but he did not stop thinking.
Just two well-fed guys having a good-natured laugh over a hearty folk song! Enjoy those good times while you can!
Weeks and weeks passed once again, and Hem and Haw’s bellies almost dragged on the ground they had grown so fat. They even took to making fun of each other, calling each other names like “Lardo” or “Fatass.”
But one day, Hem and Haw were horrified when they found no 2am Cheese at Cheese Station Yogh (Ȝ). They saw only a handful of mice gnawing on bits of wood and stone.
“It’s got to be another Cheese Savings Time!” Haw exclaimed. “Let us change our clocks back an hour, and we’ll try again tomorrow.”
But the next night, at Cheese Station Hwair (Ƕ), they still had no Cheese. In desperation, the little people set their clocks back a third time, but the following night they still had no Cheese.
“Haw, I am getting very tired of this Maze. Why can’t they just give us the Cheese at the same time every night? What does ‘Cheese Savings Time’ even mean? How does this save any Cheese for anyone?”
Haw placed a reassuring hand on Hem’s shoulder. “Hem, you’ve got to remember: ‘Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again And Again!’”
Hem gritted his teeth and shoved his friend’s hand off his shoulder. “Haw, change is a certainty in life, but why should we follow senseless change? I can no longer live like this. I must have a talk with Mammer, and there is only one thing I know that will get Mammer’s attention.”
Haw shuddered. “Well, I don’t intend to get punished along with you this time, Hem. I’m going out to wander the Maze again in search of Bigger and Better Cheese! There is always more Cheese if we look for it. We’ve never finished exploring this huge Maze. When you return to your senses, find me!”
“Oh! Well, pardon me, Mr. PERFECT!!!” But is wanting freedom from the maze a mistake?
Haw started packing his few possessions, retied his running shoes, and sprinted off into the darkness full of optimism.
Meanwhile, Haw traveled to Cheese Station Dental Click (ǀ), where the little people had calculated the Cheese would appear sometime the next day.
There Haw picked up a stick and tested its weight.
He called to the nearest mouse: “You’ve been eating a lot of Cheese, haven’t you?”
The mouse shrugged and giggled, scrunching its whiskered nose.
“Well, not in this Cheese Station, buddy. Not today!” And Haw smacked the stick over the mouse’s head.
To Haw’s surprise, the stick broke and the mouse lay unconscious, blood dripping from his head. Undeterred, Haw proceeded to chase and strike at the mice with his broken stick until all the mice had fled Cheese Station Dental Click (ǀ). Haw even pushed the unconscious and bleeding mouse across the floor and into the Maze. That’s how much he wanted to be free of the mice.
“And now I wait,” Haw said to himself. While he waited, he wrote a new message on the wall:
“Be Prepared To Stand Up For Yourself. You Can’t Depend On Anyone Else To Stand Up For You.”
With that, Haw sat on the floor of the Cheese Station to rest while he waited.
Chapter 6: Transformative Performance Conversations for Effective Communications in the Maze
Let’s hold a meeting to discuss our feelings about all the meetings that we’re going to have for the rest of the night.
In caretaker headquarters, Mammer felt very sleepy. He sat at the large table for the emergency late-night meeting with three other tired and irritable caretakers. In different ways, each one of them supervised Mammer’s work.
The first, named Brown-Noser, Mammer’s immediate boss, was ranting: “Mammer, you should have better trained Hem and Haw to prevent this sort of thing from ever happening. I’m holding you responsible for this failure!”
The second, Fretter, from Little Person Resources, was moaning: “The giant Maze overlords are furious about that hurt mouse! They can’t understand how such a failure could happen!”
The third, Ladder-Climber, in charge of the other two bosses, was ordering: “Mammer, priority one, we need you to go into the Maze immediately with paramedics to rescue Giggles the mouse. Your next priority, escort this Hem character to this office. We need to investigate how this failure could have happened. Fretter and Ladder-Climber, I need you to stay with me. We must have one teleconference after another with action committees on Zoom until we get to the bottom of this failure!”
Mammer left the meeting and gathered his tools. He joined four paramedics on a cart ride to the portal nearest Cheese Station Dental Click (ǀ). There he pressed the button on his keychain that unlocked the portal, and the five little people stepped into the darkness. Their flashlights made pink reflections in hundreds of nervous mouse eyes deep inside the Maze.
How Mammer hated the mouse stench of the Maze! He really didn’t miss his days living here. He would be glad to leave as soon as he could.
Mouse droppings. Phew! Of all little people, the caretaker complains about the smell of the maze? Guess he’ll call the caretakers to clean up then.
The team quickly found the body of Giggles the mouse at the entrance to Cheese Station Dental Click (ǀ). He was breathing but still unconscious. The paramedics patched up Giggles’ head and carried him down the Maze in a stretcher.
Now to find that troublemaker Hem….
Mammer stepped through the dark entrance of Cheese Station Dental Click (ǀ) and then… WHAM!
Chapter 7: Rethinking the Maze: Reinventing Value Propositions for Transformative Growth
Hem was very surprised. He had felt so nervous that he had once again broken his already broken stick over Mammer’s unwitting head. Hem tossed the nub aside and picked up Mammer’s fallen flashlight, still lit.
In a moment Hem realized his opportunity, but he had to hurry. He snatched Mammer’s tools, including his keychain, and ran down the Maze to catch sight of the four little paramedics carrying Giggles the injured mouse.
Hem took great care to keep his distance. He followed the little people’s lights through the Maze as they weaved through frightened mice until the party stopped. One of the little people pointed a device at the wall. To Hem’s shock, a lit doorway appeared. The four little people stepped through, carrying Giggles. Then the doorway disappeared behind them and again darkness filled the Maze along with the sounds of shuffling and chewing mice.
Careful of portals, Hem! You might plunge forever into a parallel world 1,000 feet below the surface of the earth! Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Hem rushed to the place where the little people had vanished. He felt along the wall and found a thin seam that marked the edges of the door. Somehow the door had opened after one of the little people had pointed a device at it.
One by one, Hem pointed Mammer’s tools at the wall before he finally tried the keychain with its big red button. Pointing the device did nothing. But he could not resist trying the button, and the wall opened up.
Hem hesitated. What should he do? Should he leave the Maze? He stared into an enormous lit hall, much like a Cheese Station of unimaginable size. Hem considered that the Maze held nothing for him any longer, and the thrill and curiosity of the unknown drew him in.
On a whim, Hem scrawled a new message on the wall of the Maze in the hopes that Haw might one day find his way outside:
“Exit Here. When An Opportunity To Exit The Maze Appears, Those Who Let Fear Stop Them From Leaving Might As Well Be Slaves.”
And then, trembling, Hem tied his running shoes and leaped through the doorway into the terrifying unknown. . . .
Chapter 8: How to Recognize and Cultivate the Essential Virtues of the Ideal Team Player
Later that morning Haw stepped through the entrance of Cheese Station Dental Click (ǀ) with a small and moldy chunk of Cheese in hand. Feeling concerned that his friend Hem had gotten himself into trouble, Haw hoped this bit of Cheese would encourage Hem to join him in exploring unknown parts of the Maze.
Surely there is a better make-up gift than moldy cheese?! Of course, cheese is basically bacteria anyway, right? So what’s the difference, I guess? After I found out about how disgustingly weird it is to make cheese, I don’t know how I kept eating it. But here I am, eating this decaying goo! Cheese is really strange! What utter slobs it would take to discover it. “No sense letting this coagulated rotten milk go to waste!”
“Hem, I found some Cheese!” Haw called. Then he noticed the body on the floor. Was that Hem oversleeping? “Are you okay?” he called.
But it wasn’t Hem. It was the fallen body of Mammer. Oh, how terrible! Hem must have committed violence against this little person! How could Hem have gone so mad? What could have driven him to do this terrible thing?
Slowly Mammer awakened. He felt confused and nauseous from his head injury. He didn’t remember where he was or remember his mission for several hours, but Haw took care of him and shared his moldy Cheese.
For the next few days, Mammer accepted his fate even though he hated living in the Maze again. He joined Haw in running through the vast Maze in search of Cheese. He showed Haw that the last Time Change sent the watches an hour forward rather than another hour backward. Plus, Mammer’s knowledge as a caretaker gave him inside information on the best times and places to meet the Cheese when it appeared. So the both of them ate quite well, and they began to grow content.
Then one morning Mammer and Haw were awakened by the voice of a caretaker.
“After dozens of long meetings by several committees, I have been sent to . . . bring news and to ask for assistance,” the caretaker announced.
Mammer recognized the caretaker as Stammer, though he didn’t know Stammer very well because he worked on a different shift.
A bit of unsolicited advice from your old pal, Ost: It’s better that you don’t count on anyone else to want to rescue you. Unless you’re a pretty young lady! Then ignore this advice.
Was Stammer come to save Mammer from the Maze? Mammer approached him, swooning, “You’ve come to rescue me!”
Stammer shook his head, “Um, well, no. I hadn’t -”
“I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there…” Mammer could almost sing in relief.
“Well, I-I’ve actually come to talk to Haw.” Turning to Haw, Stammer said, “I’ve come to offer you a promotion to caretaker in exchange for your help in finding Hem.”
Stammer explained to them that Hem was running on the loose outside the Maze and causing trouble. He was a danger to himself and to others, and the caretakers wanted to help Hem and return him to the Maze. They figured that his best friend Haw might have the most success in persuading Hem to turn himself in for help.
Stammer added, “Think of this as a brand new way to find Cheese.”
Haw thought for a moment. He was worried about his friend, all alone in the unknown. How could anyone live outside the Maze? The very idea of an “outside” was horrifying to Haw.
“I’ll help however I can,” Haw said.
“What about rescuing me though? I’m ready!” Mammer asked.
Time for a mammer break from today’s good sponsor! “A fejlettebb digitális technológia egyre több új lehetőséget nyit felénk a marketing területén, a képes hirdetések mára már elavultak, vállalkozásunkat mivel tudnánk jobban feldobni, mint egy magyarázó vagy reklám animációval?”
Stammer blinked at Mammer. “I have no orders about you.”
And Mammer knew what that meant. Demotion back to life in the Maze. He slumped his shoulders.
Then Mammer remembered the saying, “Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese.”
He must adapt and move with the Cheese, accepting changes as they come as new opportunities.
Mammer smiled and tightened his running shoes, ready to take on his new life.
Chapter 9: Thinking Outside the Maze: Advanced Positioning, Flow, and Sentiment Analysis to Reimagine Innovation
Uh-oh. It’s getting real. I think I’ll take that blue pill now!
The first thing that Haw could see outside the Maze was a cavernous space, dimly lit, walls and ceilings distant. Along the top of the high walls stood enormous yellow rails. The black ceiling floated high above these rails, apparently not connected to the walls of the space. Rows of bluish lights shined from the distant ceiling. Haw had the impression that the Maze sat inside an enormous square pit.
Haw rode in a small cart with Stammer, riding a track that rose higher and higher as it wound around, and he could see the outside walls of the Maze. Haw’s entire world stretched beside and below him, filling up most of the inside of the enormous rectangular pit, with dozens of giant bundles of cables curvng from above and into the walls of the Maze above and below the track. They rode past different portals marked with different numbers and letters.
Haw was dumbfounded by the strangeness of it all. It terrified him that a world existed outside the Maze. He could hardly believe this was happening to him. He kept looking at the dull, bored face of Stammer to reassure himself that he was safe and that this ride outside was even real.
Eventually the cart rose on the winding track to the very roof of the Maze complex, where several small buildings stood for use by the little people managers and caretakers.
The cart parked next to several other carts, and Stammer led Haw to one of the nearby buildings.
The barely competent worker probably won’t kill you. But they will make you want to kill them!
There Haw met a little person named Know-It-All who briefed him on his mission and assigned him to another caretaker named Barely-Competent. Barely-Competent helped Haw get a new uniform and new tools, and at last some fresh, New Cheese! Haw also received a fancy new watch, a Smart Watch!
And over the course of several days, Haw learned some of the basics of being a caretaker.
Then one night, as he was preparing to sleep for the night in his bunk, Haw wrote a message to himself on a card:
“Always Stay Useful To The People With The Cheese So They Will Want To Feed You.”
Chapter 10: Climbing the Ladder: Breaking Barriers and Actualizing Personal Skills to Take Your Career to New Heights
Haw stood in a passageway on the outside of the Maze. He was reading the latest of Hem’s messages scratched into the paint of the wall. It said:
“Rather Than Just Let Things Happen To You, Take Control Of Your Life As Much As Life Allows!”
Haw shook his head in sadness and bewilderment.
Haw recalled the whole series of Hem’s messages, from the first to the last, each one more bizarre than the one before:
Maybe you can’t live on cheese alone. But I could live on macaroni and cheese alone, I’ll tell you that!
“Exit Here. When An Opportunity To Exit The Maze Appears, Those Who Let Fear Stop Them From Leaving Might As Well Be Slaves.”
“There Is Life Outside The Maze.”
“How Long Are Little People Going To Play By The Maze’s Rules?”
“Little People Can’t Live By Cheese Alone.”
“Are We Mice Or Are We Little Men?”
For the past few weeks, Haw had visited Hem’s messages right after they were discovered. Haw tried to make sense of them, looking for clues as to where the rogue little person was hiding, or where Hem might appear next, and making no progress. Haw’s superiors were starting to get impatient with his lack of progress, but what could he do?
How had his friend fallen so far? Couldn’t Hem see that he depended on the Maze and its Cheese to live, that his rebellion amounted to suicide?
Then Haw heard a whisper from above: “Haw!”
Haw peered through the grates of the platform above and saw a figure dash behind a corner. It had to be Hem! Haw tightened his running shoes and took after after his deranged friend, clamoring up a ladder.
Haw caught sight of Hem climbing up a run of cables. Haw couldn’t see where the cables led; they disappeared over roads and access platforms. Haw hopped up on the cable himself and followed the rogue little person.
Prison or indoor playground? A philosophical question.
Upward they climbed, higher and higher, to a large metal cabinet on the far wall of the pit, and then up an even thicker bundle of cables. Haw looked around nervously, seeing that they had risen higher than the buildings at the top of the Maze. The cables led past the giant yellow beams at the top of the wall.
Hem was leading Haw outside of the pit! Surely his old friend didn’t intend to harm him up there?
Nearing the point of exhaustion, Haw followed Hem higher than the yellow rails and outside of the pit that held the walls of his whole world.
And still they climbed. Around the rectangular pit lined with its yellow rails, a somewhat larger rectangular area, enormously vast, extended past the yellow rails. This space also had walls, and these stretched upward to the high, black ceiling.
Lining these great walls stood giant racks, with giant boxes stacked upon them. Hem’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of a whole section of boxes labelled “Cheese Mix.” Enormous cabinets lined another part of the wall. And near the furthest corner Haw could see what appeared to be an enormous door. What could possibly need a door of such size to pass?
And still Haw climbed up the cables, into the ceiling at the level of the lights, and into darkness.
Chapter 11: A Communication Toolkit for Interpersonal Mediation and Conflict Resolution for Stakeholders in Stacked Enterprises
In the dark, Haw realized his vulnerability, and he expected an act of violence any moment like what had happened to Mammer. Instead, Hem’s voice spoke from the darkness, “Haw, I have to show you something.”
Haw could see nothing in the gloom. “No, Hem, I have to turn you in. For your own good.”
“I’ll never go back to the Maze. And you won’t ever want to go back once you’ve seen what I’ve seen.”
“Put the glasses on!” It is ridiculously hard to get unwilling people to even take a single look at irrefutable evidence that would contradict their entire worldview.
“No way!”
“I’m giving you a choice, Haw. Either you see what I’m trying to show you or start eating that trash can!”
“Not this year.”
And the two fought and they fought. Striking one another in the face and body, rolling around on the floor. And when they were both exhausted and looked ready to quit, they fought, and then they fought some more.
“Follow me and see, Haw!”
“Never!”
On they fought and fought so much more. And they kept fighting yet.
“Just take a look, Haw!”
“No.”
And they bled and their hands ached, and they could hardly walk. And yet Haw would not follow Hem, and Hem would not himself surrender. Why wouldn’t Haw agree to take just one look?
But little did Haw understand that Hem was blindly beating him along a long, unlit corridor. “Follow me!” Hem shouted.
Haw snarled language he didn’t know he was capable of uttering.
Finally, Hem shoved Haw over the edge of a downward duct, and Haw slid down and down until he began to see light. He was in a smooth, shiny corridor, a lot like the Maze in size. And then bright light shone through a grating that took up an entire wall. Haw slammed into the wall and could not help but see what lay beyond the grate.
“Look at them!” Hem ordered, pointing.
And Haw did look. What he saw shocked him to his core; he could not breathe. He merely sat on the shiny floor, gaping in terror at the sight beyond.
Chapter 12: Co-Creating Socio-Technical System Design of Distributed Micro-Innovator Teams
They might be giants in that control room! And what are we gonna do unless they are?
He first noticed the enormous giants.
“They’re everywhere,” Hem whispered. Dozens of them. Some stood, talking to one another. Many others sat at enormous desks along the walls, looking at glowing pictures that showed what appeared to be scenes from inside of the Maze. Yes, Haw recognized Cheese Station C! Mice were crawling on top of each other! And two little people were standing in the middle of the horde, looking at their watches. The screens showed hundreds of different places in the Maze, and other places outside the Maze that Haw couldn’t even grasp.
“Listen to me, Haw. Living outside the Maze, I have learned so much truth. I’ve learned all about who we are, why they keep us in the Maze, what they plan to do with us.”
Haw could not stop staring at the giants beyond the grate. “What are they? What do they want with us?”
“All I know is that they’re giant overlords who seem to run everything. And what they want with us is more complicated.”
Hem told Haw about how the giants bred the little people from some combination of themselves and the mice, creating a hybrid in between: tiny and docile like the mice, but intelligent and motivated like the giants. Hem claimed to have seen little people being born out of mice. The mice also were a hybrid with the giants, just with a greater proportion of mouse.
It’s all Fraggle Rock’s fault, with their Doozers, for giving them the idea of making tiny hazard-duty workers!
The Maze was a system to test the little people and the mice in all kinds of different ways, from intelligence and creativity to temperament and personality and physical strength and hardiness. The giants set up tests and scenarios to help them evaluate different broods.
Ultimately, the giants wanted to use the little people and the mice to work in places that were too small or dangerous for the giants to go. They needed to be able to trust the little people to always follow orders and to perform specialized tasks, making intelligent decisions on the spot. And the giants wanted the mice to intelligently perform routine, repetitive tasks. And both needed to be able to work for long periods with no food or water, and the less they cared about anything else but Cheese, the better. In fact, the giants were making it so that the less Cheese the little people and the mice ate, the more hardships they would endure to get what little they could get.
“They intend to trade us little people and mice to work for other giants in exchange for the giants’ version of Cheese: something they call ‘money.’”
“Have you ever tasted this money, Hem?”
“That’s the crazy part. The giants can’t even eat money at all!”
And they both laughed at the absurdity.
Edible money might sound ridiculous, but do pieces of paper or numbers on a screen have inherent value, or does this cake? Who am I kidding, I’ll take the paper!
Haw was curious about how Hem had lived outside of the Maze. Suddenly the idea that there was life outside the Maze had started to sound intriguing.
“What is freedom like, Hem?”
“It’s a hard life, but I don’t have to live by other people’s senseless, self-serving rules. What I do, I do for me alone. I’m my own boss! It’s just me and a strange, vast universe! I love it!”
Hem clutched Haw’s shoulders in his excitement. “I’ve been able to live outside the Maze, Haw. And you can, too. But you’ll have to get used to eating things other than Cheese. I’ll show you how to eat crumbs from the giants’ tables and how to kill crawling creatures to eat. It’s hard work, but I’m free! We won’t have to work in the Maze for the giants to study ever again. And you and I can lead other little people outside the Maze so we can all live free!”
Haw thought for several moments. “You don’t eat Cheese out here, Hem?”
Hem shook his head. “But there’s plenty of other things to eat. You’ll start to get used to it.”
Haw thought some more, then slowly nodded his head. Right then, he made his decision. He said, “Show me how to live free, Hem.”
Hem rejoiced at having his good friend Haw join him in the free life outside the Maze. He wouldn’t have to live alone anymore! In his excitement, he scratched a new message on the wall:
“Individual Freedom Is A Pleasure, But Enjoying Freedom With A Community Of Friends Is A Happiness Like No Other!”
Chapter 13: T-Shaped Skills in an Agile Development Environment
Oh boy. What dystopia would be complete without a little bug-eating scene?
Hem led Haw outside the shiny passages and up more runs of cable, then into a ventilated box that overlooked the Maze and the great station far below. In this box he had built little chairs and tables and a tiny bed. He had assembled together tools, weapons, and other equipment to aid in his survival outside the Maze. Here he also had collected a store of food: chunks of alien-smelling nourishment that bore no resemblance to Cheese. There were even the withered bodies of terrifying creatures.
“I know it’s hard to believe, Haw, but I enjoy this food just as much as I ever enjoyed the Cheese we used to get from the Maze. To me, it tastes like liberty!”
For the next few days, Hem showed Haw all sorts of giant overlord places. They gathered food from the giants’ breakroom. They visited labs. They saw where little men were born from mice. They accessed the computers of the giants, and they visited other incomprehensible giant places. Haw tried a few bites of the giants’ food, and it tasted truly awful, which made Hem laugh and laugh, assuring Haw that he would grow to love this food one day.
But it was all a lie.
One morning, Hem was telling Haw all about this new scrap of food they had gathered called a tater:
I know I could use a few good taters right about now, especially after thinking about eating those awful bugs! Who couldn’t?
“What’s- what’s taters, eh?” Haw asked in disgust.
“Po-ta-toes! Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a -”
At that moment the grate along the wall pulled away in a giant overlord’s gloved hands. And several caretakers leaped into the box, all of them carrying loops of rope.
Bad joke. What can I say? My nephew insisted.
Hem assumed a fighting stance. He growled, “I”m here to kick ass and eat a tater. And one of you fools made me lose my tater!”
Hem tried to fight the caretakers away, but they easily overwhelmed him and pinned him to the floor, binding him with the loops of rope.
But they did not bind Haw.
Hem peered up at Haw in sorrow. “When did you betray me, Haw? Did you ever believe in liberty?”
Haw shook his head. “There is no liberty without Cheese. I’m sorry, Hem, but this is for your own good. Your idea of freedom is insane! Life without Cheese makes no sense!”
Hem closed his eyes in despair and groaned: “The Path Of Truth Is A Lonely Road.”
Chapter 14: Analytical Continuum for Effective Intercultural Communication
Rocking the boat might be worth it, but don’t expect to win a medal for it! Not while you’re still alive anyway.
So the caretakers carried the bound Hem back to the headquarters building and locked him up.
Meanwhile Haw immediately started his new job as a caretaker after a hefty meal of Cheese.
Haw thought about his sad and awful days living in Hem’s crazy idea of freedom. He hoped that Hem would someday learn his lesson and return to the Maze where little people belonged. Maybe Haw would even see Hem again some day. He sadly shook his head, then wrote an inspirational message on the wall:
“Don’t Let Discontents In The Maze Drag You Down With Them!”
Elsewhere at headquarters, Hem sat alone, locked away in a tiny room. Silent caretakers fed him a few morsels of Cheese each day. The Cheese tasted strange to him after so many weeks of eating other things.
Behind the scenes, several committee meetings took place, trying to figure out what to do with the rebellious little person. Some wanted to return him to the Maze. Some wanted to transfer him to another type of Maze that looked like caves. Others said that Hem was a total failure and should be kept in a cage or even destroyed. Nobody wanted to make a decision. So Hem sat in his cage.
Finally, the giant overlords got involved. The engineering team lead of the molecular genetics lab, in fact. His name was Michael.
Even a decent judge is often powerless to defend the innocent. If he sticks his neck out too far, he will pay for it!
Caretakers took the bound Hem on a journey to one of the labs where the engineer Michael worked, where Hem was placed in a new cage.
The giant overlord engineer was perplexed that a little person would ever want to give up Cheese. This was not supposed to happen.
“What am I to do with you?” the overlord engineer wondered aloud.
“Let me loose to live free,” Hem insisted.
“You don’t understand, Hem,” the overlord said. “You aren’t designed to live free. You are supposed to be happy inside the Maze, doing what you need to do to find your Cheese. Without Cheese, you would have died after three or four months. You are designed to eat only a Special Cheese we create for you. Other food lacks the nourishment you need.”
“Nevertheless, I choose freedom. I am a man! I want to survive on my own, independent of the Maze. I want to be my own boss and succeed or fail on my own. Even if it kills me, I want to be free!”
“Look, Hem. I sympathize with you. You are an anomaly, and you do deserve to be treated with decency and respect. I wish I could just let you run around and find your way in life, but it makes no sense for you to kill yourself!”
“Live Free Or Die.”
It’s a fuzzy line between impractical sovereign citizen kook and resolute liberty-minded patriot. I guess it boils down to how many others can you persuade to join you!
The engineer sighed. “Don’t you understand that liberty isn’t an either/or concept? There are degrees of liberty. And a man doesn’t live by dreams alone.” Michael knitted his brow in thought. “I can offer you a new position with the caretakers outside the Maze. You could take care of the facility. You would have a lot of freedom, and you would still serve a useful purpose for the Maze, and you would get the Cheese that you need. What do you say?”
“Those Who Would Sacrifice Their Liberty For A Little Bit Of Cheese Deserve Neither Liberty Nor Cheese!”
The engineer shook his head in exasperation. “Those are fine ideals, but at the end of the day there are greater truths to consider. And you still have to eat. This is the natural order of things. But I’ll see what I can do for you, Hem.”
And Hem remained in the laboratory cage.
Chapter 15: Accountability Tools to Effect High-Performance Team Chemistry
Michael the engineering team lead sat in his meeting with the lead engineer and various other company executives. It wasn’t his first unpleasant meeting with corporate since the acquisition six long years earlier.
One of the executives eyed him menacingly. “Dr. [redacted], this isn’t the first time you have allowed personal sentiments to get in the way of team performance. While we of course promote social justice and human rights in this company, this is a mouse we’re talking about.”
“This homomus artifex has more human genes than mouse. Somehow he has enough spirit in him to think for himself and to stand up for himself. The company has a lot invested here, and I refuse to simply scrap him as a failure.”
The executives eyed one another.
“Frankly, I find the idea of a mouse that thinks o-ffensive!”
Then the program manager burst out: “You know what, Mike, we’re done here. You and your golden conscience are dismissed from this project immediately, and if you don’t offer your resignation by the end of the week, we’re going to pursue litigation against you for breach of contract and misappropriation of company resources. I think that wraps up this meeting.”
And with that, Michael was dismissed. Since the company had begun working with human genomes, he had tried to take a stand on other occasions and was always swatted down, but this time he had to admit that he was a little shaken at being forced out so suddenly with the threat of litigation. Still, he reminded himself, he wasn’t about to let this company steal his soul.
After Michael had left the room, the program manager told his underlings: “When a team member refuses to play ball, find a way to let him or her go ASAP, no matter how valuable they are.”
Several of them nodded.
“That lesson will save you lots of time and headaches”
And then, dramatically, he picked up a marker and scribbled on a dry erase board:
“One Bad Actor Will Spoil The Whole Team.”
One good apple makes the others look bad.
Chapter 16: A Lean Project Integrated Systems Approach to Materials Management
No one had fed Hem for days. Were they trying starve him to death in his lonely cage? Had they forgotten him?
Apart from a growing hunger and a craving for Cheese that made him ashamed, the boredom bothered Hem the worst. No challenges. No apparent purpose. Just time. Dragging cycles of light and darkness. Time creeping past.
One day, two caretakers showed up. Hem perked up. Was it Haw?
No, not Haw. The faces of strangers. And they had no Cheese with them.
They bound Hem and strapped some sort of watch around his ankle. Then they left.
A few hours passed, and a giant overlord in a white coat appeared with a syringe. He reached into the cage and injected a serum into Hem and took some notes. Then the lab technician carried Hem’s cage away to a large lab with counters full of incomprehensible machines. The lab technician opened Hem’s cage, grabbed Hem as the little person struggled, and placed him inside a tank with a window on the side.
As the long day passed, Hem lay on the floor of this tank, remembering his taste of freedom. He clung to this sweet memory with all of his stubbornness. Come what may, Hem was determined to live free or die.
Freedom ain’t free. Nor is it simple. But freedom IS worth fighting for!
Every fifteen minutes, the giant overlord lab technician peeked into the window, adjusted a knob, and then typed a few notes. After some time, Hem began to have trouble breathing. And then, finally, he lost consciousness. The technician continued to adjust the knob at fifteen minute increments till Hem died.
The giant overlord lab technician made this final note, recording data from the device strapped to Hem’s leg: “Death at 72 millibars. Oxygen at 21 millimetres of mercury.”
The serum was a success! Consciousness in low pressure and low oxygen was prolonged.
All this talk about food has made me hungry. I think I’ll take that weenie out of the fridge and have me a delicious chili dog topped with CHEESE! Mmm-mm!
Hem’s body was refrigerated. The lab techs would later store some of his organs in a freezer, and some in a solution. The data could one day prove useful for expanding the range of hazardous work environments the little people and the mice were designed to endure.
The lab technician nodded to himself. A smart company will leverage a loss even while dismissing a troublemaker.
With a Sharpie, the technician scribbled this little message on a Post-it note:
“When You’ve Got To Break An Egg, Might As Well Make A Cheese Omelette!”
And he even drew a doodle of an omelette.
Must have been getting close to supper time.
The end … or is it a new beginning?
A Manager’s Meeting (continued)
When Prisha had finished telling the story of “Who Moved My Time?”, she bowed her head at all the attentive smiles of her peers.
“And that is why I always let go of anyone who fights the program. Right away. Even if I take a loss, at the end of the day no individual is worth harming the team.”
Several of the managers applauded and thanked Prisha profusely, mentioning how much they valued her motivational story.
“You’re so brilliant and cunning, ma’am! Would you let me carry your purse for you, ma’am? Oh, thank you so much! Tee-hee-hee-he-hee!”
“Wow, Prisha. What a wonderful lesson!” gushed Destiny. “Did you write it? What do you think of getting together later and discussing it?”
“Good idea!” Prisha deflected. “Maybe everyone would like to discuss it later at the hotel lounge before dinner?”
And everyone outdid themselves to express their delight at this idea.
Later the managers kidded each other about all the different “Hems” who worked for them, and they told stories about all the headaches they caused. Sometimes the stories were shocking. Sometimes funny. Sometimes sad.
The managers began to see how willful employees so often got in the way of a cohesive workspace. And they realized that they had enabled this to happen under their own leadership.
David shook his head. “I’m embarrassed to admit that Big Al has been living rent free in my head for weeks. But he’s my top media director, and I didn’t think I could afford to lose him. Now I see how foolish I’ve been to keep him around all this time!”
Shawnelle grinned. “This girl isn’t putting up with ‘pale, stale, and male’ anymore! I’ve got three big mouth Hems just begging for pink slips when I get back to the home office!”
The managers toasted one another on their newfound resolve to ensure a cohesive, inclusive, and team-focused workplace. To them, it felt like a liberation! Freedom!
“Liberté, égalité, fraternité!”
Raul looked at his watch, “Well, everyone, it’s time for me to leave this Cheese Station. I have to get back to the Maze in the morning! And don’t forget to set your clocks for Cheese Saving Time!”
Everyone laughed and clapped Raul on the back. They started to say their goodbyes.
As they left for the night, each of the managers thanked Prisha again. She graciously accepted their enthusiasm.
And when the last of her fellow managers had gone, Prisha smiled and began to text her friends and allies, advising them to get their resumes ready. . . .
Ostrander Bellepoint 